Saturday, 23 September 2017


While casually surfing the net recently this popped up on DZ' screen. Having thought about it I've decided to give an accurate answer to the question.

"What does your nail shape say about your personality?"

Fuck all actually

Monday, 17 July 2017


DZ was a little bemused to see this headline on an advert recently  "Stinging funeral costs avoided by canny over 65s" DZ fully anticipates avoiding funeral costs altogether by being dead. Very canny. It's like the ads you see on daytime TV. "Do you worry about how your loved ones will pay for your funeral?" No. I fucking don't. It'll be their problem won't it? It'll be nice, finally to see them pay for something. Currently the only way to get a drink out of one of my offspring is to stick your fingers down their throat. Or "Do you want to leave your loved ones something when you die?" No, I don't. I earned it & I'm going to fucking well spend it. And I'll be doing them a favour. If I leave nothing, they'll have nothing to fight over.

And to further irritate them I intend to hang on as long as possible

Wednesday, 3 May 2017


Not far from where DZ lives is a place which advertises venison for sale. DZ is no vegetarian and quite fancied a couple of venison carcasses for the freezer. So he popped in. But he didn't buy any.

It was too dear

Sunday, 23 April 2017

Vital 3 scam

It's quite a while since DZ posted on yet another scam product, or anything for that matter, so what's prompted him to take to the keyboard again over this scam product?
These things pop up so often these days  I hardly notice them. If the punters out there don't know how this scam works by now then I'm beginning to think I'm pissing into the wind.
So what caught my eye on this one?
Is it the audacity of the claims presented, and the pseudo scientific crap purported to be behind it?  No.
Is it the lack of any evidence presented? Although clinical trials are mentioned no links or references are provided. All there is is lots (and lots) of anecdotes. Which may or may not be genuine. No. Nothing unusual there.
Is it the statement tucked away in a corner of the site."These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
** Individual results may vary."
Is it the qualifications of the guy no doubt making a great deal of money out of this scam,  Dr. Eugene R. Zampieron, Licensed Naturopathic Physician and authority on chronic pain, a "doctor of naturopathic medicine"? Not actually a doctor then. No, pretty standard fare.
Is it the ubiquitous nature of the advertising lead in on the web, or the swamping of google with links to the site? No, again nothing notable.
And the statement "your credit card will be automatically debited" is the absolute signature of the fact you're about to be screwed financially.
How about the ingredients? This sums it up nicely.

So what was it that attracted DZ to this particular unremarkable scam? Well call me a juvenile, but one of the adds features a picture of a knee joint. Perhaps it's just me, but at first glance it looks to me like a pair of tits.

Sunday, 15 January 2017

Shitting the bed

DZ has just been having a look at one of these quackery infested health & diet sites. One bit of advice he found related to some drink product they're trying to peddle, claiming "DRINK THIS MIXTURE BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP AND YOU’LL EMPTY YOUR COLON OF EVERYTHING YOU’VE EATEN DURING THE DAY" 
Not something you want to wake up to


Wednesday, 28 December 2016


As new year approaches everyone seems obsessed with evaluating 2016 in terms of those celebrities who have died. So a couple of dozen highly (over?) paid people have died and we are all supposed to be so impoverished because of it.
Well call me an old cynic, but 55 million other people also died in 2016. 6 million of them had not yet attained their 5th birthday.

Sunday, 27 November 2016


"There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people"
               Muhammad Ali.

Not sure I entirely agree with him on this. I can think of many people that I'd derive enormous pleasure from beating up. In similar vein I'm informed on Facebook that today is National "I care about YOU DAY". And I've been invited to send a virtual bouquet to a list of 20 people that I care about. Being the Grumpy old sod he is DZ can't think of a list anywhere that long. DZ is waiting in anticipation for national "I want to shoot you between the eyes day".
 He has a list for that as long as the Greater London Telephone Directory.
There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people. Muhammad Ali
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